Well Damn!!! My Mega Millions Lottery hopes have been dashed once again. You would think that the odds of 176 million to 1 would be enough to deter everyone from even spending one dollar- but I think what happens is- you start dreaming about all the things you would do or COULD do- all the things that you would change and those dreams SUCK YOU IN- at least that is what happens to me. This time I only got sucked in a little bit- $12-bucks, not SO bad. But as I was mourning my $640 million dollar loss, I was struck by the thought that money doesn't have to be the answer- it makes things easier sure- but fundamentally we are all who we are. Selfish folks will continue to be selfish whether they are rich or poor. Miserable lonely people will still be miserable and lonely despite their millions.
It is so easy to get caught up in the things that suck- me especially- that we forget about the things we should be grateful for. I need a gratitude adjustment folks. So for the next 30 days- I am making a conscious effort to reflect on the things I am grateful for in my life. Ok- listen- let me say right now- I don't plan on skipping around blowing rainbow sunshine out my behind for the month of April. Clearly, anyone who really knows me, knows that there is NO WAY I am going to manage an entire month of joyful reflection and celebration- GAK- not gonna happen!!! But- what I am hoping is that I will find some joy in places where it is normally pretty scarce- like work.
So let's start things off right now- I AM GRATEFUL I HAVE A JOB!!! There are A LOT of people out there wondering how the heck they are going to make it. Their cupboards are bare- electricity is 10 seconds from being shut off- they are worried about making the rent. None of these things are my current reality. Don't get me wrong, I am no millionaire- Hell, I am not even a hundredaire. I have to juggle the bills to make it work, and there are a lot of days when I wonder whether I can make it- but I always do.
My job is pretty much the bane of my existence. There is more bullshit and drama going on there than really any place else I have ever worked, but at the end of the day- it pays my bills- keeps food on the table and ensures that my kiddo has some quality of life... I think that this job has taught me so much about myself- and human nature in general. I definitely have grown in this job- and struggled- fought with people's perceptions of me- and fought my perceptions of them as well. I do not want to do this job forever- but for now- I am making it work, and I am thankful I was able to find some measure of success.
Ok-that was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Things are looking up already.
Peace!!!
Good for you! I know you're not the happiest in your job but, like you said, at least you have one. More people need to be thankful for that. Hang in there, girlie!
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